Home Fitness THE 20 MOST REALISTIC RUNNING RESOLUTIONS EVER
- Do not sign up for races when you have had more than two cocktails.
- Only eat white snow while on long runs.
- Do not be as fast as Kara Goucher – because everyone needs to have one achievable resolution.
- Avoid hitting the wall in your next race by actually following the training plan.
- Resist the urge to punch someone in the face just because he or she tells you for the 99th time that running is bad for your knees.
- Remember to actually strength and cross train instead of just reading a million articles about how important it is and never doing it.
- Stop apologizing every time you get a pedicure and your toenail falls off in the nail technician’s hand.
- Keep the water in your bottles from freezing during your long run by not running when it’s so darn cold outside. Duh.
- Save water and electricity by washing your running clothes less frequently. Wear more deodorant.
- Always be aware that spandex can produce camel toe.
- Learn how to do a snot rocket. Nothing says you’re a real runner more than being able to projectile your boogers out of your nose.
- Avoid over-talking about running to people who don’t care about running.
- Do not assume that a nagging injury will go away if you just run on it more.
- Finish one darn tube of ChapStick.
- Take up smoking until at least March so you can quit smoking and see how much better you feel when you run.
- Do not eat any of the following the night before a race: chili, chili dog, chili
cheeseburger, chili fries, chili smothered burrito, or baked potato topped with chili.
- Keep a running journal so that you can remember that there are actually days when you like to run.
- Lose enough weight so that your gut doesn’t keep you from tying your running shoes.
- Stop becoming so exasperated when your grandma asks you how long your marathon is.
- Wave to other runners because apparently this is the etiquette and their feelings will be hurt if you don’t.
