Ah, the marathon aftermath. That wretched time when the lower half of your body is screaming “what did I just do?!”, while the upper half has a big smile plastered on your face.

Here are 26 Signs to the public that you just ran a marathon:

  1. You’re walking down the stairs sideways.
  2. You can’t stop eating.
  3. You have red blotches on your skin in odd places from chaffing.
  4. You’re napping in your parked car, on the side of the road because you’re too tired to drive home from the race. Getting up at 4 a.m. and running 26.2 miles is hard work!
  5. You’re wearing a shiny, disposable blanket.
  6. And yet, you’re still shivering because you haven’t changed your clothes.
  7. You’re obsessively checking your phone to see if official race results have been posted online.
  8. Your Facebook status is a post-race selfie, complete with a goofy grin and a shiny medal.
  9. You smell terrible.
  10. You have one less toenail than you did before.
  11. You’re screaming as you torture yourself with a foam roller, and yet it feels so good you don’t want to stop.
  12. You’re planning your outfits to wear with your new race T-shirt for the next few weeks.
  13. You’re frequenting the bathroom. Enough said.
  14. Every chance you get, in any random place you find, you’re stretching your legs. A leg propped up on the wall of the elevator is normal, right?
  15. You are looking at the person talking to you, but you aren’t hearing what they’re saying.
  16. You are sitting down, and you don’t think you can get up. Ever.
  17. You use the phrase “I just ran a marathon” in every sentence, even if it doesn’t fit into the conversation.
  18. You limp and walk, strangely due to blisters in weird crevices of your toes.
  19. You burst out crying when someone tells you congratulations. Post-race emotions are a roller-coaster!
  20. You’re wearing compression socks, no matter if they go with your shoes and outfit.
  21. You’re texting your finish time to anyone who might care. And to others who clearly don’t care but they need to know anyhow.
  22. Your favorite shirt has numerous safety pin holes in it, and you’re wondering if it’s ruined forever.
  23. You’re in a bath full of ice. In the privacy of your home, I hope.
  24. You text your spouse in the next room to ask him to bring you the remote since you can’t get up from the couch.
  25. A medal is hanging from your neck as you pump gas, get a coffee, go to the store – anywhere. You just ran a marathon, and this is the day to wear it!
  26. You have a giant smile on your face that will not come off. YOU RAN A MARATHON!

And # “.2” — You’re online signing up for another race.


By Nichols