Ah, the marathon aftermath. That wretched time when the lower half of your body is screaming “what did I just do?!”, while the upper half has a big smile plastered on your face.
Here are 26 Signs to the public that you just ran a marathon:
- You’re walking down the stairs sideways.
- You can’t stop eating.
- You have red blotches on your skin in odd places from chaffing.
- You’re napping in your parked car, on the side of the road because you’re too tired to drive home from the race. Getting up at 4 a.m. and running 26.2 miles is hard work!
- You’re wearing a shiny, disposable blanket.
- And yet, you’re still shivering because you haven’t changed your clothes.
- You’re obsessively checking your phone to see if official race results have been posted online.
- Your Facebook status is a post-race selfie, complete with a goofy grin and a shiny medal.
- You smell terrible.
- You have one less toenail than you did before.
- You’re screaming as you torture yourself with a foam roller, and yet it feels so good you don’t want to stop.
- You’re planning your outfits to wear with your new race T-shirt for the next few weeks.
- You’re frequenting the bathroom. Enough said.
- Every chance you get, in any random place you find, you’re stretching your legs. A leg propped up on the wall of the elevator is normal, right?
- You are looking at the person talking to you, but you aren’t hearing what they’re saying.
- You are sitting down, and you don’t think you can get up. Ever.
- You use the phrase “I just ran a marathon” in every sentence, even if it doesn’t fit into the conversation.
- You limp and walk, strangely due to blisters in weird crevices of your toes.
- You burst out crying when someone tells you congratulations. Post-race emotions are a roller-coaster!
- You’re wearing compression socks, no matter if they go with your shoes and outfit.
- You’re texting your finish time to anyone who might care. And to others who clearly don’t care but they need to know anyhow.
- Your favorite shirt has numerous safety pin holes in it, and you’re wondering if it’s ruined forever.
- You’re in a bath full of ice. In the privacy of your home, I hope.
- You text your spouse in the next room to ask him to bring you the remote since you can’t get up from the couch.
- A medal is hanging from your neck as you pump gas, get a coffee, go to the store – anywhere. You just ran a marathon, and this is the day to wear it!
- You have a giant smile on your face that will not come off. YOU RAN A MARATHON!
And # “.2” — You’re online signing up for another race.