SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE THINGS RUNNERS DO

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I was walking my dog with my neighbor the other day post-run, when she looked at my leg and screeched, “What happened?!” I glanced down and saw blood smeared on the inside of both of my knees. Hmm. Apparently my legs had knocked together enough during my run (for whatever reason) to chafe and bleed. I hadn’t even noticed. Nor had I cleaned myself up before meeting my neighbor to walk my dog.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve done some pretty gross stuff over the years, all in the name of running. Among them:

  • Blowing snot rockets. This habit has become so ingrained in my actions that I’ve caught myself doing it when I’m NOT running. It’s just second nature.
  • Peeing in the woods or other outdoor locations. I don’t think there are many races at which I put up with porta-potty lines. And if I’m trail running and have to pee, well, I’m not waiting until I get home. Heck, I’ve even taught my daughter the fine art of peeing outside.
  • Changing clothes in public. When I finish a run and the weather is extremely hot or cold, one of the first things I do is get out of those sweaty clothes. If I finish at a location that isn’t home, I don’t think twice about whipping off my wet shirt and changing into a dry one, right next to my car.  It’s pretty much a given post-race.
  • Not changing clothes. Conversely, there have been more than a few times when I’ve stayed in my post-run clothing for a couple of hours before getting around to taking a shower. I walk in from a run, walk back out to take the kids somewhere, or start right in on some writing, and well…it’s a while before I finally get cleaned up. Good thing I’m a freelancer!
  • Chatting openly about bodily functions. These functions include peeing, pooping, farting and the like. Let’s just admit it- running can sometimes do a number on the GI system. I’ve compared notes on all of the above bodily functions with more than a few runners before. The funny, the embarrassing and the “what works for you,” sometimes creeps into running conversations, doesn’t it?
  • Inhaling vast quantities of food in public. Ever finish up a long run or race and just have to eat, no matter what’s available? I know my friends and I can do a number on a good burger, fries and beer after a marathon. You’d better not get between us and that food, either!

Those are just a few of the socially unacceptable acts I’ve pulled off over the years. What about you? Can you add to the list?

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