20 THINGS EVERY RUNNER KNOWS TO BE TRUE

Runners are a clan. Even if we don’t know one another personally, we share many of the same experiences, thoughts and feelings as we run. If you’ve been running for a while, you begin to realize there is a natural pattern to things. You learn from your mistakes and don’t make them again. You become seasoned in the ways of the runner, and you realize you are officially part of this clan. Without even knowing how it happened, you begin to understand the truths of being a runner. Below are 20 things that every runner knows to be true.

  1. If you hold your wrist up to the sky with your Garmin on it, you will get your satellites more quickly.
  2. If you are fortunate enough to encounter a bathroom or porta-potty during your run, you should use it whether you really have to go or not. This falls into the category of better safe than sorry. Or, better safe than soggy.
  3. Wearing underwear with running shorts that have a liner is like putting a tampon in during menopause: unnecessary.
  4. When running on the road, you should run facing traffic so that you know what’s coming before it hits you. If you have to question whether or not a driver sees you, he or she probably doesn’t.
  5. You can’t/shouldn’t wear a race shirt if you didn’t run the race.
  6. Running doesn’t ruin your knees; arthritis does. Running can actually help.
  7. A marathon is 26.2 miles long. A half marathon is half that. Some people actually do not know this.
  8. Farting while running is not only acceptable, it is encouraged.
  9. If you want to know the quickest way to find out if you chafed during a run, get in the shower. Then scream like a little girl.
  10. You don’t have to “look” like a runner to be a runner.
  11. Runner’s feet are gorgeous. Especially if you like calluses, black toenails and blisters.
  12. After a certain amount of use, it’s nearly impossible to get the stank out of your running clothes.
  13. It’s maddening to be beaten in a race by someone wearing a costume.
  14. At some point, if you’ve been running long enough, you will crap your pants, shart or have a very near miss.
  15. Your running partner knows things about you that no one else does.
  16. You are always nervous before a race, no matter how prepared you are.
  17. You will always feel like you have to pee before a race, no matter how many times you’ve gone already.
  18. Camel toe happens.
  19. The last mile of the race is always the hardest.
  20. And the most euphoric.

Any other things all runners know to be true?

(Featured image via Flickr: Peter Mooney, license)